My precious twins are 3 years old! It doesn’t feel like three years have passed, I’ve honestly barely had time to blink. Long gone are my babies, though they will obviously always be my little ones. I’ve said it a million times, and I’ll say it at least a million more, how incredibly fortunate I am for having these little ladies in my life.
I always wanted twins. When I was young, I often dreamed of having a twin sister. I don’t know why, but it was something that meant a lot to me. When I was in second grade, we moved, and I told my new teacher I used to have a twin sister. It was a lie, but that’s what I said. In hindsight, maybe I did have a twin who just never developed any further than a couple of cells. Who knows, but for some reason, I felt a strong connection with twins.
Twins of my own
When my first born was around a year old, we started discussing baby no. 2. I wanted my daughter to have a sibling, someone she could always count on. My plan had always been to be a mother of three by the time I was 30. At some point I realized that it wasn’t going to happen, that it wasn’t physically possible to fulfill my time frame. Not that it was relevant either anymore. I turned 26 the year we met with my husband, so it just wasn’t plausible in any way. I also started thinking that maybe two kids was enough. Ending up with twins didn’t even cross my mind anymore.
My husband was trying to be cute and said I would get my baby number two as a birthday present. Funny thing, my birthday came along, and soon I did a positive pregnancy test. I was pregnant with twins, their due date calculated from my birthday. I ended up being 31 with three kids.
Being a mother of twins for three years
My twins are not identical. They resemble each other and their big sister like siblings do, all three have an amazing connection and they’re great sisters. Going from a mother of one to a mother of three overnight was surprisingly easy. The first months were a breeze, the twins slept a lot, ate well and were content babies. My eldest was incredible with her new role as a big sister.
Now three years have passed. Suddenly out of the blue. We’re finally diaper free after literally thousands of diapers. The house is filled with giggles, play and constant chatter. It’s a happy home with happy children. It’s been three wonderful, yet utterly exhausting and hectic years. Everyone keeps saying that life becomes easier as kids grow. Yes and no.
The twins challenge me every single day. They’re incredibly independent in many ways, yet other days they’re completely helpless. They make me laugh daily and I am so proud of them. They also make me cry. For the most part, it’s tears of joy, but also from frustration, disappointment and exhaustion.
Two individual little ladies
I remember the first time I read Richard Scarry’s “Pig Will and Pig Won’t”. The book could literally be about my girls. The twins are like night and day in so many ways, yet their relationship is great. Not only are they twin sisters, they are best friends.
One is extremely social, outgoing, and the happiest child I’ve ever seen. She gets excited about everything. I sometimes wonder if she’s even capable of walking normally, as she skips and hops everywhere. She talks, sings and dances all the time. She fiddles and can’t sit still and always has the entire menu on her shirt front. She’s also very determined and stubborn: “My way or the highway”. Admitting that she would be wrong or saying sorry are huge challenges for her. And my goodness you need to keep an eye on her! At least once a week she’ll have covered herself in marker or pen drawings, she constantly raids my makeup, and last week painted herself with nail polish. She’s the big sister that needs to be noticed.
The other twin sticks to me like glue. She’s shy and conservative, prefers routine over new things. She’s a deep thinker, considerate and ponders a lot. Her sister does a lot of the talking, but when Ms. O opens her mouth, it’s usually a well thought out statement. She loves to read and color, and pays attention to details. She’s very precise about what she wears, and preferably picks out clothes that match mine. And my hair – if I’m rocking a bun, that’s how she wants her hair too. When you introduce her to something new, her first response will generally be no. She began moving, crawling and walking much before her twin, but began speaking a lot later. She’s into every single sport imaginable, and loves to swim. But the temper on this one..
The biggest challenge
One of the biggest challenges for me as a mother to twins has been providing enough attention to my children. There’s only one of me and three kids. They all need individual attention, mommy-and-me time. My house is full of toys, sometimes two or three fold of the same toy. The amount of clothes and shoes is also absurd. What kills me, hurts me incredibly much, is when I’m told that we don’t need so many toys, that children need to learn to share. Sure they could have less toys, but twins or any siblings are already sharing a lot.
Here’s the thing. My husband is out of the country on average ten months a year, making me a single parent for most of the time. My children need to share me. They all need a fair share of cuddles and sitting in my lap, they all want to sit next to me at the dinner table or sleep by my side. On a daily basis, I feel like I’m not enough, that there’s just not enough of me to go around. Mommy-and-me dates are pretty much limited to doctor’s and dentist’s appointments or the occasional trip to the grocery store with only one child. The kids love it, but I wish I could give them more.
These beautiful little ladies are my purpose, my being. I’ve been massively sleep deprived for the past three years, challenged and pushed. But I’ve also been entitled with so much joy and pride. I’m biased, but my children are amazing. They’re full of so much love and excitement. Adventurous little souls that I created. Having twins is tough and demanding, but it is the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. Being a mother is my greatest accomplishment. I couldn’t be more thankful, grateful or fortunate.