Parenting is the most rewarding, amazing journey you’ll ever take. However, it’s also the most demanding and hardest role to play. It doesn’t end, from the moment your child is born to your death bed, you’re a parent. Having been a parent for less than six years, I can only speak of the early years, and honestly I have no clue of what all my girls are yet to put me through – both in the positive and negative.
I’m a good parent
I have amazing daughters. Not a day goes by that they wouldn’t baffle me in a way or another, bring a smile to my face, make me laugh out loud, but also make me raise my voice, momentarily hate myself for imagining a life without children or look at the time to see how much longer until they fall asleep and I get to escape reality for a second. I also often question if I’m a good mother, if I’m doing my best, how will my choices affect my children, could I or should I be doing things different.
Now here’s the thing, the second those thoughts come into my mind, I know that I’m a good parent. I’ve stated that I believe in the power of a positive attitude, and I think that’s what makes all the difference. Whatever the situation, definitely not easy a lot of the time, trying to make the most of it, to see the good in things, is what helps me get through rough times. If nothing else, there’s always something to learn from every situation and learning is never bad.
The twins will be three in a couple of months, and at the moment, we’re living in a phase where they try me every chance they get. “Double trouble” has reached a level I could never have imagined even a couple of months ago. They have opinions on everything, and the first answer to pretty much all my requests are “no, not right now, I don’t want to” or tears and a hissy fit. I tell them to get dressed, they run away or proceed with whatever they were doing as if they didn’t hear a word. Dinner time has turned into a circus, including demands of being fed to poking each other with forks.
Putting the kids to bed used to be a breeze. I’d take them to bed, say goodnight and leave them to fall happily asleep in the comfort of their own beds. Last night I spent three hours trying to get the trio to bed. By morning, at least one, if not all three, will be in my bed. My five-year-old has also decided to join the anarchy, though thankfully on a much more modest level. For the most part, she’s an amazing big sister and a huge help with daily tasks. However, be it a need for attention or simply expressing self-will, she too has begun to question everything. A not so appreciated “why can’t you do it yourself?” is quite common. The joys of parenting. The list goes on, but if you’re a parent, you already know what I’m talking about.
The strength in parenting
So where is the positive in all of this? What good could possibly be found in three strong-willed children pushing their mother towards borderline insanity? Well, in fact, there’s so much good to it, you just have to take a step back to see it. First of all, I’m learning every day (see, if you can’t find anything else good, at least appreciate the new knowledge ;))
I have gained super powers to some extent. My hearing is amazing. My multitasking and time management skills are off the charts. I’ve realized that I can actually get by with six hours of sleep a night. I have killer biceps and I’m incredibly fast at bolting from one side of the room to another. And I don’t take anyone or anything for granted anymore. I appreciate the good times, I enjoy the laughter, and I participate in their games and play. With every tear and argument, the smiles and reconciliation hugs become ever so more meaningful.
I want my daughters to know that they are heard and seen, that their opinion matters, but that they cannot behave however they want. Every time I raise my voice, I know that I am providing them with an example on how to communicate. When I don’t join them at the dinner table, I’m showing them that it’s ok to not participate.
A better me
My kids push me to be a better person, a better mother and role model. Parenting challenges my creativity and forces me to look at things from another point of view. It makes me want to grow and change the world, to make sure that I know I did my best. Instead of giving in to insanity and darkness, I look for the good, and try to do a better job. Teaching my kids now the difference between right and wrong is what will sculpt them, and me.